Forgive me. -for abandoning you after changing your skin.

I am terribly sorry. I have been, (and it seems, always am) BUSY. yes, packed. I have a tight schedule, every single day. And now days, I get sick and tired so easily, so every time after classes/school, I would rest or take a nap, see. Ah, and now, my throat really hurts and I'm having a fever. Great.

So, we've just got back from Singapore last night. Oh guess what! Yesterday, when I walked into the English Islamic Bookshop @ Darul Arqam, Singapore to buy my Islamic Studies books; First Things First by Khalid Baig and Muhammad; man and prophet by Adil Salahi, my head turned automatically towards a certain familiar voice. It was coming from the TV screen, and the cashier was very focused, watching it. The DVD Player was playing one of Sheikh Feiz's talks on Death. I smiled.

It feels good, and I feel proud, knowing that this person on the screen is someone whom I know and who knows me! yeah he knows my name. So I've met him, heard him talk first hand during his classes (not anymore) and we have talked. He also attended one of our camps. It was like I've met a really famous celebrity! Except that he's not a celeb, nor is he THAT famous.. (oh wait.. so that does not make him one.. *scratches head* ah forget it)

Anyway, then I wondered what it would be like, to know someone greater than this Islamic icon/da'ee*.. What it would be like if I knew the... prophet in person? It would be beyond awesomeness. No, I'm not saying that this Sheikh is our prophet for our time, no. What I'm saying here is, instead of knowing a person who has contributed (mashAllah) quite a lot to the religion, what if I knew the Leader of Mankind? Like I said..

..beyond awesomeness.

-And it makes it even cooler when no one else around you have actually met him. Not that I'm such a die hard fan, no don't put it that way. I'm just jealous of these people who put their lives at stake for the spread of the religion. I wish I had talked about how good his talks are to people in the store, so that many will support him in his noble work. Its already good enough that he goes from one place to another to talk to people rather than those who- oh. sorry. no i won't go into that topic. so anyway, back to where I was-

And so, fighting the urge to go up to the cashier to tell her I know the man on the screen, I grabbed the two books I needed, and quickly paid for them. Once I got my change, I stormed out of the store, and (literally) faced the rain.

Okay, that was dramatic. But yes, that was how it was.

Ooh. I have something else to say. Hold up. Juts bear with me for a couple of minutes.. Have you ever experienced a moment, when you've just learnt a new word, and after that, you hear it a few more times for the whole day? Have you? HAVE YOU?

so, is it just a coincidence? or is it because, now that you know what it means, you actually pay attention to whenever the word arises? or..

what? oh right. you don't understand. You. Don't. Understand? so, you don't. *takes a deep breath*

urghhhh. Its so disturbing when you fail in trying to explain a phenomena to a person when you have a very clear vision of what it really is in your head. Even after countless attempts, they still don't get it. so is it the person you're trying to talk into, or is it the way you choose your words... or, is it the subject itself, that is confusing? And on top of that, they give you the "are-you-mad/insane-look". It is very very annoying. Sometimes I just give up. For instance, at times when you feel that the Earth is spinning a bit too fast that you can feel it- hey! i'm not done, don't give me that look! See what I mean? *silent*

...SEEEE?

*sigh* you don't get me, do you? Ok, ok, what about, a point of time when you feel like you're almost see-through (keep reading =_= ) that you feel you're just passing the whole thing. Like when you feel that you have been through this time. Fortunately, this phenomena has been retold and retold from one generation to the next, and taddaaaa someone understands it! and he gives a term for it! It's now what you call "deja vu".

Alright, alright, don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to create a new belief here, but really, you guys have felt that right? and personally, I am experiencing it very frequently now. I wonder if I've just, coincidentally, dreamt of the same thing. It could be that. And then again, probably not.

ah I don't know. Do you know that sometimes I spend hours and hours thinking like this, and by the time I realise I've gone too far, I already have so many unrealistic images/ideas floating in my mind?. aha! This is the moment where we must stop. Yes, its a reminder for me too. No, shut up, its not good for you or your brain. You've gone too far. Its time that you learn not to meddle with the unknown. ooohhh.. so scary. NOT.

Anyway, you are not supposed to be thinking of things like this. And questions like "what if you're meant to..." or "maybe we were supposed to.." or "nah, probably God wanted...". just Stop, okay? capice? Just get out of that train of thought and start doing things which are actually beneficial and worth thinking. (that would sound better if it were directed to me.. *looks around* )

People, if you find that this post brings you to nowhere, stop reading immediately, because I doubt that anything here makes sense. Who knows, I might be only talking to myself. Anyway, that is why, on my header, it says; EKAM EVEILEB: where (nearly) everything makes sense.

Okay, cut the crap. I'll go now. So long my friends :/

yeap, my next post will be about CRABS AND THE ZAINI FAMILY. (yes those red crustaceans with 4 pairs of legs <---- I meant the crabs, not the family =_=" )




*da'ee: a person who gives da'wah. i.e: teaches Islam and gives lectures and talks, holds classes, stuff like that.


By the way, I watched My sister's Keeper. And it s**ked. Big time. The novel is so very heartbreaking, sad and unputdownable, you should read it. Not watch the movie. Mark my words. Finally, you'll have me out in no time.

toodles:)

Labels: my sister's keeper by Jodi Picoult